Bestsellers: The Pope

http://www.theonion.com/articles/top-5-bestselling-books-week-of-december-10-2012,30675/

(Mine's the last one)

Mayan Prophecy

http://www.theonion.com/articles/preparing-for-the-mayan-doomsday-prophecy,30697/

(Mine is the 4th-last one)

Who'd We Catch Cold From?

Mine's the first one.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/who-did-we-catch-our-cold-from,30314/

Star Wars Episode 7

Yippee!  I did 3/8's of this!  (#3, 6 & 7)

http://www.theonion.com/articles/disney-announces-star-wars-7,30302/

Polling station

Mine is the last one.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/where-is-our-polling-location,30268/

Fact Checking The Debates

(Mine is the 5th fact)

Watching renovations...

http://www.theonion.com/articles/lebanon-tnretiree-doug-clarke-66-spent-five-consec,29843/

Wedding DJ

http://www.theonion.com/articles/plymouth-mnthe-reaction-wedding-dj-kurt-carroll-re,29750/

TV Listings: 'The Science of Sex'

http://goo.gl/4Xbch

http://www.theonion.com/articles/madison-wimother-of-three-debbie-richardson-wasnt,29659/

GOP Convention Schedule

http://www.theonion.com/articles/republican-national-convention-day-3,29371/

(Mine's the 9:45 p.m. event)

Assisted-Suicide Ban

(Mine's the 2nd one)

Concordia Severance Packages

(Mine's the 1st one)

Election Robocalls

(Mine's the 2nd one)

Butt Dials

(Mine are the 1st and 3rd ones)

Striking Librarians

(Mine are the 1st and 3rd ones)

Haper Meets With U.S. & Mexico

(Mine's the 2nd one)

Canadian Combat Jet Bill

(Mine's the 1st one)

Conrad Black Released

(Mine's the 2nd one)

T.O. Pride Funding

(Mine's the 2nd one)

Montreal Student Strike

(Mine's the 1st one)

Stanley Cup Trial

(Mine's the 2nd one)

Occupy Toronto

(Mine's the 2nd one)

Elephants Sent To Cali

(Mine = 2nd & 3rd ones)

Bible College Sex Offenses

(Mine's the 3rd one)

Economy Tops Crime

(Mine's the 1st one)

John Lennon's Tooth

(Mine's the 3rd one)

Canada Keeps Marijuana Illegal

Initially, I strictly wrote responses for the 'Canadian Voices' feature.  (this being the Canadian version of 'American Voices' and usually only appeared in print in the Toronto market)

One week, the Canadian Voices column ran as the American Voices in the 'regular' Onion, print and online.

So this is that.

(Mine's the middle one)